Social Lies

Let's talk about how we never have anything to talk about. I think it's about time.

I have a theory. There is less to most relationships than we think.

Obligation follows commitment. Where, exactly, does commitment begin anyway? Does it occur to anyone, ever, that obligation usually assumes the place of those things that brought you together in the first place?

I know where it ends and how, like a thinning thread giving way. When it snaps, it breaks quietly, in an exasperated sigh, the rolling of eyes, or a forced smile that actually feels painful after a while to the person wearing it.

Nobody benefits from the benefit of the doubt if it's continually being extended. The 'nicest' people in the world always have the least to say and the most enthusiasm to say it. Don't sedate me with idle chit-chat. Don't patronize me. Don't keep telling me what I already know. I will leave.

I'm always aware of the moment sneaking away while I'm tied up by dutiful kindness to people who need the comforts of the mundane more than I do. Think about it, please. We can meet every day for 20 minutes and still learn nothing about each other.

Hi. How r u? I'm fine, how r u? I'm good, thanks. That's great. Good to see you again. Yeah, same here. So how's day? You know me; work work work study study study. Haha, yep, me too. It's getting so cold here. Yeah, it's snowing again. So how's day? Same old same old, hehe. Ha ha, yeah same here too. Blah blah blah blah blah.

I have a lot to say and nobody, really, to tell it to. That's why this journal is so valuable to me. Nobody is as close to me as they think they are, because, despite all I write here, I'm usually nicer than I need to be and sorry for it later. I'm as programmed as anyone else, but how do entire relationships get stuck in this unbreakable pattern, claiming to be about something, but rarely venturing beyond the entranceway?

I didn't join up for this. I didn't take your hand so you could lead me to the garden of small talk and gossip. I've known you long enough. Read that however you will. There are things on my mind and in my heart that truly excite me, mesmerize and fascinate me. I've learned by now that you won't follow me there. Every time I took your hand and tried, you politely pulled back. You changed the subject.

And I sighed. And I rolled my eyes. And I kept that dooming, damning smile on my face.

I'm about to change the subject.

Comments

[Kenny911]

[this is good]

Hello, my name is Kenny. I am a senior in high school. I've always had a artistic point of view but not until resently I've found a "voice" in writting, thanks to Kurt Cobain and Billie Joe Armstrong.

I was looking up reseach for my creative writing class on "social lies" and came across this wedsit and linked to your writing.

[Gavin Ash]

[this is good] Do not despond! More cheerfully!